So we are 11 weeks into our boys moving in with us. We are three weeks into Andy going back to work and me being a full-time stay at home Mumma!
I have to say….this shit is hard! I don’t think anyone can really appreciate how hard it is unless they’ve been there and done it. And it is proving a lifeline to me to speak to other mums who know. They just get it and understand the difficulties and frustrations, as well as the joy of staying at home to raise your little ones.
We’ve had good times and bad times, but the good generally outweigh the bad. I’m beginning to love my boys, after a short period of wondering if I ever would. I have been so fond of them and care about them deeply….but love? I wasn’t sure. But I think I’m getting there.
They really are such little characters! My big A is so full of life and really is an individual! So quirky and has his own little take on life. I love the way he gets so exited when daddy gets home from work.
Little A is such a cheeky one and a total mummies boy. That little grin would melt even the coldest heart.
The hardest bit of this motherhood malarkey is the loneliness. I love spending time with my boys and appreciate that I can, but also the need for adult conversation and mental stimulation is strong. I have been consciously making play dates with friends and family to ensure I get people to talk to, to save my sanity! It’s returning slowly after a short absence last week.
On the whole we are doing well. And I’m so grateful for what we have. I have wanted it for so long, that complaining about any aspect seems wrong. Although I think that as a women who has experienced the pain of infertility and the desire for a family, we create this perfect little image in our heads of what motherhood will be like once we reach our goal, however it is we get there. Sometimes it takes a little time and a gentle nudge to remember that nothing is perfect and we just do the best we can.